From the Trinity limericks

For the organists and choir of Trinity Church Wall Street, New York, 1991-92


Two organists, shy but well hung
Took turns as the church bells were rung
As one’s pipe got gnawed on
He moaned like a Bourdon
Tuned deftly on his partner’s tongue


Miss Harrison once played a male
In Die Entführung Aus Dem Serail
Her vocal gymnastics
And vital statistics
Brought Mozart buffs off without fail


A serial composer is Joel
But his soul has its opposite pole
His id’s a gorilla
A soprano killer
With dodecaphonic control


Sex games in the choir loft bored Ana
When cruised she sighed “Maybe Mañana”
When a bisexual fruit
Once tried to recruit
Her, she scoffed “I don’t go for bañana”


His spirit aspires like a dove
But Charlie, when push comes to shove
Would rather fly tackling
A ton of pork crackling
Flame broiled on the altar of love


Mysterious Cynthia Shaw
Has a voice that men simply adore
Her coloratura
Makes naughty thoughts purer
As lust becomes Sancti Amor


With a leer Signor Urreiztieta
Once fondled a Spanish Pieta
Mary took him to tasque
Crying “impious Basque
You’ve polluted our mystical thieta”


Mrs Ullyette’s worldly disguise
Lies in seeming more wanton than wise
The mere glint of her tongue
Makes the rector feel young
And cuts the old maids down to size


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